It’s time to rethink sympathy cards

93% of people said traditional sympathy cards didn’t help, and often hurt.

What did, were personal letters and flowers.

Start a Vessel

Ever wonder what you should really put in a sympathy card?

We did the research and found out.

And 60% prefer meaningful flowers AFTER the funeral.

96% want letters
with personal stories.

Ever wonder what you should really put in a sympathy card?

We did the research and found out.

96% want letters
with personal stories.

And 60% prefer meaningful flowers AFTER the funeral.

A New Kind of Grief Letter

Floracracy helps you send what our survey shows people want: a letter personalized to the stories people want and thoughtful flowers. We call them VESSELS, and they’re ranked #1 for customized florals by Business Insider.

Let Us Help You Support
Someone Who Is Grieving

And we’ll send you three ideas.

How to Write a Letter that Helps

Here is how to write your letter, including HOW TO END IT. Click on the age of the recipient to see what is most recommended.

Start your letter by telling the person how sorry you are, and then follow the template below.

Best concept:

  • Funny stories
  • Stories of the person’s best qualities
  • Surprising stories the recipient won’t know about the deceased

How to END your letter:

  • Tell them why the stories matter to you
  • Tell them you’ll call next week
  • Say you love the person to whom you’re writing

Don’t say: “My condolences,” “I’m praying for you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “My deepest sympathies”


Best Flowers: this age loves receiving meaningful arrangements. Get started now!

Start by sharing where you are sitting and that you were thinking of them. Then follow the content below.

Best concept:

  • Funny stories
  • Surprising stories the recipient won’t know about the deceased
  • Stories of the person’s best qualities

How to END your letter:

  • Tell them why the stories matter to you
  • Share a specific way you can help
  • Tell them you’ll call next week
  • Say you love the person to whom you’re writing
  • That you are thinking of them

Don’t say: “My condolences,” “I’m praying for you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “My deepest sympathies,” “I’m so sorry for your loss.”


Best flowers: a small arrangement that feels meaningful. Get started now!

Getting help, both emotional and material, is really important. Sharing memories along with concrete actions (e.g., sending food) is key.

Best concept:

  • Funny stories
  • Surprising stories the recipient won’t know about the deceased
  • Stories of the person’s best qualities

How to END your letter:

  • Tell them why the stories matter to you
  • Share a helpful action you’re taking (sending food)
  • Say you love the person to whom you’re writing

Don’t say: “My condolences,” “I’m praying for you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “My deepest sympathies,” “I’m so sorry for your loss.”


Best Flowers: a small arrangement that feels meaningful. Get started now!

This group loves thoughtful, personalized letters more than anything else. They don’t value visits or food as much. They also don’t like traditional sympathy flowers. Be sure to make yours personal and stylish — we can help with that!

Best concept:

  • Funny stories
  • Surprising stories the recipient won’t know about the deceased
  • Stories of the person’s best qualities

How to END your letter:

  • Tell them why the stories matter to you.
  • Tell them how much you care about them, and that these flowers were picked to show that.
  • Say you love the person to whom you’re writing.

Don’t say: “My condolences,” “I’m praying for you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “My deepest sympathies,” “I’m so sorry for your loss.”


Best Flowers: something unique that doesn’t feel like traditional sympathy flowers.

This age group is personalized letter lovers. They also love flowers, especially ones that are personalized in some way. Acts of kindness matter to this group more than any other, so be sure your gift captures that.

Best concept:

  • Funny stories
  • Acts of Kindness
  • What the Deceased Meant to Others

How to END your letter:

  • Tell them why the stories matter to you.
  • Tell them how much you care about them, and that these flowers were picked to show that.
  • Say you love the person to whom you’re writing.

Don’t say: “My condolences,” “I’m praying for you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “My deepest sympathies,” “I’m so sorry for your loss.”


Best Flowers: lots of flowers, especially gifted more than once. They love flowers.

Watch a Mother Receive a VESSEL

Helping You Authentically Support Grief

Impactful Letters

Use or guided software or free concierge letter-writing support to send someone grieving the letter that they want (and not the rote messages that actually hurt)

Personalized Florals

Select the shape, colors and flowers in a 100% guided experience that takes mere minutes with our guarantee that we’ll send what you approve.

Dependable Quality

Exquisite florals shipped in a cooled box, sustainable packaging, a beautiful keepsake vase, letter, and 100% happiness guarantee (full refund or replacement). Complimentary overnight shipping on orders over $100.

Get Started

Why VESSELS Work

Floracracy isn’t just flowers. Ever. It’s about communication that research shows people need and aren’t getting aymore (thus the 40% loneliness rate, a condition deadlier than smoking). Your words help, actually changing your body temperature to mimic human touch.